Nikki's Lair

Fun.

2007-02-06T07:02:53Z

I apparently died yesterday. Paramedics searched for my blood pressure and found none. Pretty weird, considering I was kind of talking. LOL

Then I apparently resurrected, because the upper digit was 70, even if the lower one still wasn't found.

Now it's 120/85, so I guess I'm all alive again. A pity I don't really feel like I am.

That was fun.

Gods?..

2007-02-04T18:53:54Z

A friend e-mailed this link to me. He was going through the list of bands there and wondering what kind of sin is "texan" next to George Michael's name.

http://lovegodsway.org/GayBands

Apparently, Metallica's gay, as well as the Grateful Dead, Nirvana and Frank Sinatra. And Ted Nugent (I'd pay to see them say that to HIS face). And Elton John, of course, is so gay, he's listed TWICE.

I don't know about you, but to me, the site is HYSTERICAL. Discrediting itself, from first to last page.

Plus apparently those who love god's way can't spell. Look at the logo. It might be just my distorted perception, but I swear, "GODS WAY" the way it's spelt there has a distinctly pagan sound to me.

Back to rolling on the floor.

Teehee!!!

2007-01-28T20:34:29Z

Well, I have a few friends on my Russian blog who are anime fans. Me, I'm not into this at all save for the very few exceptions, but when I saw this quiz in a friends entry I thought I'd take it. The test is called "Are You A Seme Or An Uke". For those not familiar with anime terms, a seme is the top, and an uke is the one who bottoms. ;) So I took it. And lookee what it told me! :D

Don't Fuck With Me Seme

Serious and to the point, and sometimes bordering on the sadistic, it takes a special breed of uke to satisfy your needs. You tend to be anti-social with little patience for most people. You need someone to challenge you and push you to your limits, and then be able to take the punishment you dish out, which frequently involves rope and alchohol. This is what makes the Badass Uke the yin for your yang, as you're the only one able to put them in line and satisfy each other.

Dude, doesn't that make me a total Sixx? Because if Vince isn't the Badass Uke, I don't know who is. LOL I mean, the description sure fits. :)

Cheered me up, even. :) Wanna know what yaoi people will make of you? Click here. :)

*still giggling* I'm being totally silly today...

Photopost

2007-01-27T16:23:08Z

I haven't been pic-whoring in quite a while, so I thought I'd post some stuff. Better than talking nonsense again, huh? ;)

This is me, sometime during winter holidays. I'm possibly out of my mind, because I'm only wearing this jacket and nothing else on me, and it's really, really good that other pics from that night turned out too dark to see anything in them. LOL

This is also me, only in a very, erm, symbolic form. That's the symbol of the year I was born in, which, according to the Chinese Horoscope, was the year of the Black Pig. :) Yeah, I am THE Generation Swine kid. LOL I love this little thingie. I was given it as a present for this NY, and I was thrilled. It looks so much like me, I mean, inner me, the way I feel about myself. :D

And this is my cat, Alice. :D She was helping us with unpacking all that Christmas-y stuff and decorating the apartment, so she finally got so tired she had to lie down and have some rest. ;)

This is also my cat, showing some 'tude. ;) She's so punky at times. LOL And she's a hunter!

Here are a couple of places in my town.

This is a wooden house. It's old, but some people still live in it and they gave it an overhaul some time ago. And did it in a very lovely way. They redecorated it exactly in the same style it was first built in. With wooden lace. I LOVE wooden houses that are NOT painted!

This is an oooold building. It looks rather gloomy - it's really large, and those stone eagles on its roof are pretty unnerving. It is also half-deserted - the upper storey isn't in use, so half the windows are broken and all that. And the ground floor is occupated by different stores and shops and I didn't want to have it in the frame. It was a really beautiful house once, you still can see it.

And finally I decided to show you some shots of my room. Not that it's awfully interesting (and it's surely nothing pretty) but I figured someone might want to have an idea about the place I live in. Just out of curiousity. :)

The only thing I won't show you is my bed. It is never made - so that I can crawl in at any time, yeah, I'm weird this way - and so it's even less pretty than the rest. So we'll start, left to right, from the wall above my bed. Can you name each rocker on it? :D

(And yes, it is "Live free or die!" spelled on it. What can I do, I believe in it.)

This wall is also above my bed. How do I put it?.. Above my pillow... LOL Same thing about rockers. ;) Save for the painting. It's by my granddad. Pictures my dad as a kid, skiing. :) And Shakira and Courtney Love got shined out. Eh...

Turning to the right again, this is my desk. Right next to my bed. It isn't chaotic, BTW - this is called 'in order', because you can kind of distinguish rows of files on it... LOL I've been thinking where to put this Vince poster. Wanted to hang above my bed it instead of Marylin Manson, but the poster's too big, doesn't fit in there. *sigh* The little crocodile squeaks if you squeeze it. :)

This is what's on top of my desk. :) If you have any questions concerning any of the items assembled there, I'll gladly answer. I understand that it isn't a very common... collection. :)

The Place Between Things. :D Or simply the place for all things that didn't fit anywhere else. Like, a mirror (I don't really look into mirrors much). Or all the plushies I've been given in my entire life (at one point almost everyone thinks that a plushie is the perfect thing to give to a girl as a present... *sigh*). Or my hamster. LOL In the lower section I keep my vinyls. The lamp stand on top of a CA-110 electronic keyboard case. And yeah, those are Motley, Shakira, Johnny Depp, Courtney Love and Pika on my wall there. I haven't taken Pika down because I don't believe in erasing memories.

This is my bookcase. :) On top of it sits my old CD-player. And an orange duck. The duck's name's Vince, don't ask why... The doors are occupied by Shakira and a few cats - the black'n'white one is Take That's Number One Fan, or so the sticker on his chest says. I can do nothing at all about his musical tastes, folks...

And this is the rest of my room. It is also in order - when it's not, you can't walk on the floor there, because you don't see the floor. LOL There's my wardrobe, my window, my guitars, my keyboard and my speakers, and a whole lot of other stuff. The corner where the keyboard stands is officially the Hot Chicks corner, but you don't get to see the inhabitants because I was running out of film. LOL Well, you can see - sorta - Monica Belucci in the corner there. The others are above the keyboard, along with the MAXIM 2007 calendar. And, of course, it's a Motley poster on my door. :)

Well, that's all! I bet you're hoping you never get to stay with me now, aren't ya? LOL

Couldn't but.

2007-01-25T20:31:46Z

I guess when you remember (and sort of celebrate) your favorite rocker's kids' birthdays, it's the most inadequate degree of fangirlism. But still, I'm partial to that kid.

So Gunner Nicholas Sixx turns 16 today. :) In two years he'll be legal. :D Hope everything goes well for him and hope all this shit with Nikki's divorce didn't hit him too hard and well, just hope to see a more recent photo of him some day. LOL

Many happy returns of the day and all that. :)

Eh-eh-entertainment?..

2007-01-15T08:03:04Z

Well, I'm awake at an ungodly time. (Yeah, 10 AM became an ungodly time for me as of lately; but in fact I had to wake up at 7, anyway, so I feel my point is justified.) Our New Year/Xmas holidays are finally over and the classes at the postgraduate have started again, and I decided that just for the sake of pertaining the remains of some kind of righteousness in my image I need to appear there at least once in two weeks. So today's the day. *heavy sigh*

That explained, you really should excuse my being grumpy...

Happened upon this page today, I think it was the movie review page for the Las Vegas Review Journal or some such thing. There was that critic (acclaimed? at least she's definitely their regular employee), Carol Cling. And she reviewed the movies of the last month, I guess. She and some other guys; they graded movies A to F, like, school grades. Clear enough.

I was brought to this page through a search engine, searching Apocalypto (yep, my latest fad, what can a girl do?..), and it was the first one on the list. Reviewed by Carol; graded at C+. I thought, okay, not bad, really. I'm not as mad a fan as to fervently claim that what I love is the absolute best. So I thought, "Okay". However, before reading the rest of the little passage she had to say about the movie I went through the rest of the list, mainly to see how the grades go in comparison.

Well, they were rather mild. There was only one D-, that was for Black Christmas, horror movies never quite struck it with critics, and I've never seen the movie in question, maybe it IS that bad. No clean A's, either, because otherwise who'd put CRITIC in 'critical reviews', right?.. So, we're dealing with about 7 grades, in fact: A-, B+, B, B-, C+, C, C-.

And when I started reading the titles I pretty soon saw the very familiar pattern. Most movies graded at B and higher, at least by dear Carol, were either socially or politically charged... and very explicitly so. The Queen (obvious); The Pursuit Of Happiness with its exploration of homelessness; The Good Shepherd (which might be interesting, but Carol kind of stresses the CIA-paranoid side of the movie as its best asset); Freedom Writers (also obvious); Children Of Men (which I loved to bits, but it IS socially charged, by its nature); Borat (which is NOT Ali G having fun, but is a shot at American prejudices; knowing the man, it's probably both); and of course Babel, which also needs no comments.

Left overboard, to C and less, of the movies I've heard of: Rocky Balboa, Perfume: Story Of A Murderer - and yes, Apocalypto.

Now, okay, I'm VERY biased with Apocalypto, that's true. Even though I loved the movie for the plot, for the idea and for the way everyone acted - they made me forget it was a feature movie, I swear, and considering most of them are first-timers, it's totally amazing; Rudy and his Mexican-Indian good looks were almost an afterthought - scrap 'almost', because fangirlism only hit me two weeks after seeing the movie. *sigh*

Good ole Rocky enjoyed the opening weekend of 6 million - I don't know whether it is any good yet, but it received enough praise from movie-goers for me to believe it is okay on the entertainment level at least.

And Perfume: Story Of A Murderer is a BRILLIANT movie. I don't like it; I didn't like the book and I don't like the movie, it's not my cup of tea, but it's exquisitely done. The way the transcribe smells on screen with images and sounds so that you can actually SMELL them - it is inexplicable to me and yes, I think it's a great achievement.

But ah! They're not political charged, AND they're violent.

Returning to Apocalypto (you knew I would, didn't you?.. I swear I only use it for illustrating my point... believe me... hehe!), I read the blurb on it. That's what it said:

Director Mel Gibson's latest delivers an intriguing, if deliriously overwrought, portrait of pre-Columbian life, as a young hunter (Rudy Youngblood) runs for his life -- and struggles to save his family from capture (or worse) by brutal Mayan invaders. "Apocalypto" plunges into blood and gore with almost crazed fascination. It's striking, all right, but some of us don't care to be struck -- especially when we keep getting hit right between the eyes.

Why am I bringing it up? Because, among other movies, Carol gave a B to Blood Diamond with DiCaprio. Blood Diamond is in no way less violent than Apocalypto that has just been so sternly told off. More, probably, because in Apocalypto I never noticed the violence, it kind of went with the plot and was never the focus of it, so it didn't distract my attention; in BD, it did. BD is also an action movie; and while the actors' performance is very decent it's not better than in Apocalypto (which is not my opinion alone - about every other critic out there commends the cast on that; they don't play in this movie, they live it). So what's the difference?

I knew as soon as I got to the part of BD's blurb that contained the words "delivers yet another socially conscious movie" - alright, thanks for clearing it up, mate...

The thing is, Apocalypto IS socially and politically charged, too. It has a lot of messages, if you care to see them. It touches up not only upon psychological issues and human-human relationship, but also on the social inequality, on the way the governing and religious figures lead people astray because people are negligent, on the ecological issues, even. But those messages? Not explicit. Mel tried to keep the movie's entertaining value untouched, and my HUGE thanks goes out to him for that, even though it did earn him a few "it's nothing but a Hollywood chase flick in a different setting" comments in the press. The messages are there, but oh grief, you have to WORK to see them. You kind of have, and I know it's horrible, but you really have to THINK.

So what I'm trying to say is... does anyone even remember the name for that industry that cinema belongs to? Need a reminder? I'll say it aloud:

ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.

Entertainment. As in, for people to have fun. Sure, smart and serious movies are great. But how did it come to the point, where to be considered good (and not just "okay"), a movie has to be not only "socially conscious" but explicitly, in-your-face so?

To each his own, but I've got an opinion on that, and that's a very uncomplicated opinion, because it goes like this: this is all bullshit, and at 10 in the morning, this bullshit pisses me off.

End of rant.

Thank you. :)

Ah, found the original adress for the page I was talking about: NEON - Movies. And again, I'm biased, but I will stand my ground: Casino Royale and Happy Feet ended up among Carol's B's purely by accident...

Wow.

2007-01-12T10:56:08Z

To wake up and find this paritucular interview in the news.

Michael Monroe apologizing. Michael Monroe. Apologizing. Holy fuck, what ever happened? Any of the three finally cornered him somewhere and told him where to put his mouth if he has nothing better to do with it?..

But whatever it is, it has a real quote-worthy Sixx saying:

"Yeah, I'm willing to bury the hatchet — into Andy McCoy's head!"

Have to agree with Mike, it's a great quote. LOL

*thinks back to the brawl* In fact, it produced some nice quotability back then, too. If I remember right, it was then that Nikki called Monroe an "anal astronaut" - which is still one of my favorite set-expressions EVAH...

The Mel/Rudy fic.

2007-01-11T00:05:36Z

Okay. Here it is. Unproofread and everything, but since hardly anyone is going to read it, anyway, I guess it's okay. LOL

B, auto-search the document for the word "rain", and it'll deliver you almost to the beginning of the sex scene. :) Which is rather crappy, because I lost the ability to write sex some time ago, as I mentioned before, but still it's there.

Everyone else who ever reads it to the end: please, PLEASE say what you thought of it, because it's the only time I'm writing an RPS fic that's totally not connected to Motley and is out of rock fandom alltogether. It's very important for me to know, whether I still can do anything with those taken away. :)

The thing:

WHO YOU ARE

You know the rap. Mel Gibson, Rudy Youngblood, Mel's 51 and Rudy's 25, and they were filming that movie Apocalypto last winter and spring in Mexico, and then it went to theaters and ate what I had for brains.

Obligatory Rudy pic:

(With Mr. Gibson, because the occasion grants it.)

Sorry for cluttering your friendlist with pics. :)

Done.

2007-01-09T22:05:19Z

So I finished it.

Five days; 13,200+ words.

Funny how I know no-one will read it, but still feel accomplished. :)

After all, I guess, we ARE writing for ourselves. :)

Hope Rudy sues me so I meet him in court. Because Mel definitely won't...

:D

Crazy, crazy, crazy, GONE!

2007-01-09T00:36:28Z

There is only one meaning in which the term PWP applies to anything I do, and the meaning is "Porn? WHAT PORN?!". *grumbles*

17 fucking pages without as much as a grope! Trust me to write the most boring fic you could think of...

Because Rudy insisted on dancing his grass dance, and Mel insisted on doing that infamous jump off a 17-storied building, and now it all turned into such nonsense that not even B is going to read it, even though she wanted to.

But at least I'm writing, yeah? *a weak smile* And I even did write sex (which finally happened on pages 18, 19 and 20). Yay me. Woot. I mean, SHOOT. SHOOT ME.

While I'm at it and because K teased me about Rudy being a woman: HE'S NOT. :D I think he doesn't look too girly in these pics:

*contemplates* I wonder, does it make me weird that I also still find Mel Gibson rather hot even now when he's 51? Ah, scrap this. I think Al Pacino's hot. And that's older...

Searching for brain... NONE DETECTED.

2007-01-06T22:28:15Z

Once an RPS writer - always an RPS writer.

Everyone here in Russia watched Apocalypto. Everyone in our slash community who was interested in the movie went writing fics. Like, maya-based, jungle-located fics, yes? Jaguar Paw and friends, so to say.

I?

Am in the middle of writing a Mel Gibson/Rudy Youngblood ficlet.

Yeah, I know Mel is 51, okay? And I know he's Roman Catholic. And I know how many times he's been accused of homophobia, so don't tell me. Because those are no impediments, I guess. Because I exist outside the realm of common sense. /sarcasm

But... Rudy.

I mean, there really is a pattern. He's part Mexican and part Indian, and he sings, and... *sigh*

But yeah, I'm totally, totally incurable by now, I guess.

Smile, Rudy... You ate my brain, kid.

Okay.

2007-01-03T20:21:03Z

I went to see Wolfhound today. :)

The movie... well, it's not exactly that it sucks, let's just put it this way... it leaves MUCH to be desired. It could've been much better, but someone in the crew hired an imbecile for a script writer's job, and so yeah, we have what we have. The only thing left from the book are Wolfhound himself (Alexander Bukharov, who played him, is INCREDIBLE. He's mainly a theater actor, and I guess it's good school because the way he plays... the way his eyes change, even... it's amazing) and the Unflying Bat - now, the Bat is... LOVE! Just plain LOVE, gah, I totally adore the little creature! :) Even if it hadn't been for Bukharov, the Bat would've saved the movie single... oh, single-wingedly, I guess. :D

Foreign distributors have already bought the movie (did so before it ever premierred, in fact), so some of you might see it. If you see the same - or roughly the same - cut of it as we do, I have only one thing to tell you: please DO get through the first 30 minutes of the movie. Give it a chance. The first half an hour is disastrous, absolutely. From then on, the movie picks up somewhat. Too bad it's full of references to every known blockbaster out there, from Star Wars to Lord Of The Rings to The Fifth Element... but the main character - he's BEAUTIFUL. I think he's worth it.

Also, great shots of nature. The entourage, so to say. :)

I could've gotten majorly dissapointed were I not the spoiler-loving type. I read everything on the movie that appeared on the Net after its premiere showing (Dec 28th) and THAT was where I got disappointed, because everyone kept saying how crappy it was. Okay, those were mainly the book fans. I'm also a book fan, but I never expected the movie to follow the book, so maybe that's why my experience was less traumatic than the most. :)

I'm still gonna buy it on DVD. :)

Weirdness.

2007-01-01T21:09:23Z

Dude, but it's weird.

I woke up this morning (which started 3.30 PM for me, because my night ended about half past eight in the morning) with a hangover. And I totally don't remember what I did this night between 2 and 8 AM. I came over here and saw this post about sitting there and watching Slade on the TV, and I just don't remember posting it!

I mean, I don't remember drinking. And I couldn't have gotten drunk. I'm on the wagon, and so I didn't buy any booze at all. Maybe my parents have some hidden somewhere for my dad's B-day party, but I have no idea where. And I know for sure that my own parents won't offer me drinks, even on a New Year's Eve night.

So what was that, then? Euphoria? Can it have after-effects that are as... physiological as a hangover? Natural endorphins? LOL

Weird.

But anyway, the year started, and I'm stil euphorical about that. Hope it won't result in another hangover tomorrow. LOL

So yeah - it's totally here!

2007-01-01T00:28:45Z

Am three hours 28 minutes into the New Year and totally happy. Have watched the obligatory traditional assortment of pop stars on one of the channels with my family (and I swear I liked it, because fuck, it was NEW YEAR!), and now one of the local channels is broadcasting "The Best of Slade", so I'm watching that.

Feels great.

Once again - Happy New Year to everyone, and hope you have a blast tonight. :D Whatever might be meant by that - whatever way you like to spend your time.

AND BE HAPPY. :)

2006 and what it was.

2006-12-31T13:26:59Z

Finally - FINALLY - it's gonna be over. Right here it has only about 8 hours left. And it makes me perfectly happy. :) (Not to mention that Nikki Sixx made me a NY present by holding this Royal Underground event in Aspen. Now the Net is swarming with photos, and damn, he looks fine. :D)

This was a hard year. Sure, a lot of good stuff happened, but somehow bad stuff overshadowed that too much, no matter how I tried to stay positive, and in the end, I just gave up trying. Yet, I'll try to revise the balance.

Good stuff:

1. I survived it.
2. I met some great people.
3. Slashcon-2006 in Moscow. That was ace. :D Five days of fun, a total blast!
4. I entered postgraduate, the internal form of it, which means not having to work and receiving a generous stypend, among other good things.
5. I got me two beautiful new beasties, Alice the cat and Junkie the hamster. :)
6. I re-united with some old friends that I haven't seen in years, such as Laita and Ilya.
7. I got me ADSL Internet connection with unlimited traffic and a fixed monthly price and have been putting it to verrry good use. :D
8. Amazingly, I have been... accepted? Something like this. This year, different people, my friends and not, kept telling me that they liked my writing, my music, my skills with graphics... everything creative about me. It's so totally amazing (especially about music) that I just can't get over the fact. I suppose I wasn't posting here much about it, that's because I couldn't quite find the words. But when a person posts her wishlist for her B-day, and one of the points there is "Greensleeves performed by Nikki666", you know she really does like your voice, and it just... blew me away. :)

Bad stuff:

1. I got totally had. Actually, it lasted the whole school year, but it was in April that I got to know it, and so I chalk it up to 2006. I refer to that fuck-up where I believed my boss lady at UlGU about internal postgraduate, which means that I'd been slaving for them for virtually nothing for 9 months. I got so disappointed it literally made me ill. I think I'm still dealing with it.
2. My cat Kesha died. We'd been fighting off his disease for 13 years and finally lost.
3. Vlad died. Which is bad in itself, when a young guy dies so awfully absurd a death, but for me, it was only the beginning of troubles.
4. I lost my best friend. Basically, I don't have any good friends in this town anymore. Pika's out, and I'm totally alone most of the times. Ilya comes and goes, the Rolling Stone that he is, and my relationship with Laita has only just begun to re-build itself and I don't know whethere it's going to work.
5. My health's all gone to hell, both physical and mental. Every little glitch that my organism had suffered from in my life came back with double force this fall. Blood-pressure, intro-scull pressure, lapses of eyesight, heart attacks, breathing problems, as well as mood swings, nervous breakdowns and hallucinations. Joy.
6. Me and my brother aren't talking to each other. He started it, and it's damn well mutual by now, because the only time that he came over this year (choosing the time when I wasn't around) he was such a dick that he made my mother cry. He. Made. My. Mother. Cry. It's damn right that he doesn't want to meet me now, because the moment I see him, I'm going to start beating the living shit out of him. But it hurts. We quarreled over the silliest thing... and his actions show that he changed a lot, and it's not only my impression. Other people who met him are saying so, too. SAD. It's always terribly, terribly scary when a person you know (especially someone who's so close to you) suddenly changes and just isn't himself anymore. Totally not the person you used to know and love. It's... awful.

Also, way too many people died this year. I thought it was just me who felt this way, but the papers this last week have been saying the same. Even among celebrities, ONLY among celebrities, the lists of "Died in 2006" are too long. And common people - friends of my friends, relatives of my relatives - have been dying all through the year. So that it made me paranoid and I spent almost the whole December indoors, praying that nothing else happens before the year is through. Looks like it worked, but it was... say, depressing. For the lack of a better word.

So, this year was hard. Really, really hard. But it's almost through, and I survived it, and now I think everything is going to be okay, because just before the end of the year things started fixing themselves. My health is finally stabilizing. I have money. I feel creative. I'm meeting this New Year with the best and most beloved friends I've ever had - my family. I'm pretty calm - since Christmas I haven't been in a bad mood once. I feel at peace with everything that happened - I think I finally accepted it and reconciled with it, and I'm ready to move on.

And it's snowing. :)

So, to everybody who's reading it, to all my friends: HAPPY NEW YEAR! May it be much, much better than this, ending one. May it bring you joy, love, happiness, well-being, everything that you want and more. May you have lots of strength - and as few occasions where you need it as possible.

I love you all. :)

P.S. Almost forgot! I now have a site. I never thought I'd finish it before the New Year, but I did. It's awfully designed and has a really weird system of navigation, besides, it acts and looks weird in Firefox... but hey, IT'S ALIVE!!!

You can see it here: http://triplesix.narod.ru

I have no idea whether it's going to load too slow, as Russian sites usually do for foreign browsers. But I tried to make it not as graphically heavy as that last site of mine, the Motley site. So try it. :)

!!!!!!

2006-12-27T06:46:34Z

KEITH MOTHERFUCKIN' RICHARDS, BABY!!!!!!

So this time it wasn't a rumor! Pirates go rockin'! :D

Since I'm not sending any postcards...

2006-12-24T21:30:17Z

I'll just congratulate you guys right here. :) I know that Xmas is tomorrow, but for me Xmas Eve has always been way more special, so I'll post this tonight. :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS, PEOPLE!

Wishing you everything, everything, everything that you wish for yourself, have fun and BE HAPPY. :)

It says 'Merry Christmas!', and so do I. :D

Good things. :)

2006-12-23T18:57:15Z

I got the book, Brigitte! THANK YOU SO MUCH! And the card, it's so beautiful. :) It's quite appropriate to send a Satanist Xmas greetings, because Satanists still want to have winter fun. :P YAY! Will start reading soon. :)

H, I got your card, too! It was so cool to find it there in my mailbox! :D THANK YOU!!!

And you already know, C, but I got your Xmas card on Sixx's Bday, which was strangely appropriate... LOL THANK YOU!

Bad, bad, bad me, because I'm not sending cards to anyone. :( You'll have to forgive me, guys. It hasn't been easy for me. Yesterday was the first time in a loooong while that I dared myself to get out of the house by myself. I freak out even if it's a five minute walk to the nearest food store. :( I know it sounds sick, but I just hope that I'll stop feeling this way come New Year.

And today I was taken out to the movies, saw Apocalypto and LOVED IT. And I have a new crush. :) Damn, not only do I fall for Italians, it turns out, I'm weak for those Mexican-Indian mixes, too. :D

Following another talk I've had today...

2006-12-18T21:17:22Z

I just feel the need to say it somewhere. Because the person left the conversation before I had the chance to tell it to her and because she probably woulnd't have listened anyway, and because I just feel the need to make my point.

So.

There are people. And there is such thing as a relationship. There are people who are in a relationship. There are people who aren't. Some people are in a relationship because they need it. Some people are in a relationship, and they don't need it, but they think that they should be in one because it's generally accepted that people should come in couples. Some people aren't in a relationship because they can't establish any, even though they want to.

AND! Some people aren't in a relationship because they don't need any steady relationship in their life.

They just don't need it. They're fine without it. Actually, they're better off without it because they wouldn't know what to do with it if they had it.

YES SUCH PEOPLE EXIST. Deal with it.

Trying to prove that if a person isn't in a relationship then she/he is invariably deeply unhappy and unsatisfied, because of COURSE she/he wants to be, trying to prove that all people who say they don't want any relationship are just saying it because they can't get any and are showing off in order to cover up their insecurity - it's like saying that a cow doesn't eat meat because nobody feeds it any meat, and lists itself as a herbivore because it wants to take a stand and look cool and is afraid that we'll guess no-one's giving any meat to it.

(That, of course, works both ways. Trying to prove that a tiger doesn't gobble hay and eats meat instead because it doesn't want to look worse than other predators is no smarter. Some people are in a relationship because they need it and because it works for them, and trying to label them 'uncool' or 'conservative' for that is just as wrong.)

In short, both cows and tigers eat what they eat because eating something else would hurt their systems. And it's the same with people. Some people are born to have a lifemate. Some people are born to be loners. The first kind are unhappy on their own; the second kind freak out if someone stays attached to them for two long.

In a nutshell: if someone tells you that he/she doesn't have a significant other because she doesn't need one, it might just be true.

Honestly.

Sixxmas, baby!

2006-12-11T19:42:31Z

Today Nikki Sixx turns 48.

Dude, now that's a number! I mean, that's not even old, but had someone told him he'd live that long, then, back in the early 80s, I bet he'd just laugh in their face.

And he did live that long! And I sure hope he's gonna live twice as long and then some. Come on, I saw his granddad - in this family, men live long and age damn nicely. :D In another 48 years Sixx is still gonna kick ass, dude!

Sixxy retrospective under the cut, just because!

Such a sweet kid, such a sweet smile, you'd never guess what's behind that and what his childhood was like.

This one's from 1982, right, Funky? I stole it from Funky and I don't quite remember. :) But I love it. Sixx, alone in the crowd, like he has always been.

This is from Shout era, I believe. Bloody great! :D

Theatre pic... and dude, these eyes ARE blue!!!

Girls era. With his dog Whiskey. I mean, I thought you had to be Nikki Sixx to name your dog Whiskey, but now that I have a hamster called Junk (which is none of my doing!), I'm not that sure anymore... LOL

That's from Dr. Feelgood, and I keep wondering to whom and for what THIS guy could be praying... :)

Decade. And three things I love combined in one pic: semi-darkness, guns and Nikki Sixx! :D

That's around 1994, I believe. Not my favorite era - for some reason, even though I like Korabi's voice, I just can't bring myself to touch anything that has to do with those years - but this pic is too cool. :)

1997? 1998? Reunion time, anyway. :) I think that was taken at a signing. Great session, I love all pics from it!

Not sure when it was, but I kind of like it. I mean, if someone was piercing MY eyebrow, I'd be yelling like a bitch that I am! But the man just smiles. :)

And this is the way he looks now. Man, two years to fifty. Former junkie. Former alcoholic. And he looks DAMN GOOD as far as I'm concerned! Eh, Italians. ;) Gotta love that folk.

If it weren't for that guy, I probably wouldn't be alive right now. Back when I was 15, it was he, his band, his music and - and I mean it! - his interviews that made me realize where I was headed and turn around. And just keep me going. So, Nikki... HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Hope everything will be fine. I wish you luck. Wish you success. Wish you happiness. Health. Everything and more. Hope that everything works out fine for you. And - ROCK ON!!! You crazy thing you.

Many happy returns of the day, dude. :)

YAY!

2006-12-10T22:51:01Z

I think I reconciled with my brother. (I told you we'd quarelled, right? I think I did, and in rather dramatic way, too...) Which is great. And he's gonna be home after Dec 20th! YAAAAAY!!! So soon. :D

In other ways, was watching the TV today. They showed "Pretty Woman", the one with Julia Roberts, my mom loves this movie - she's a bit on the sentimental side. :) I wasn't really watching it, but at one point I just looked over and there was a RATT poster on the wall in that room where the two street walkers lived! Hehe, I wonder whether it is rather a compliment (in the 'Ratt are everywhere!' way) or rather an insult (in the 'Only whores listen to Ratt!' way). Anyway, it was fun. LOL

Also, they showed that E!Entertainment broadcast about who looked the sexiest on the red carpet. And when they were talking about Scarlett Johanson, they made me laugh again. There was that dude there, the typical rapper ape-like dude who was asked what was so cool about Scarlett. And he said dreamily, "Scarlett, she has the prettiest eyes and lips in the world." So romantic and innocent, huh? And right after him, the asked some model chick the same question. Such a cute little model chick with huge childlike eyes, short hair, such an innocent little girl look. And that chick leans forward with a huge grin and goes, "Scarlett has the best TITS and the best ASS, man!"

Hehehehe, so... men are lewd and women are romantic. No fucking shit, man. LOL

Morning senselessness.

2006-12-10T11:24:00Z

Actually, I wanted to write a long friends-locked entry here, mostly as a responce to another person's one. But then I slept on it and decided not to. So, instead I'll just post part of the result of a certain personality test I stole from Andy, because it made me laugh a lot. LOL

Borefest - ISTJ

40% Extraversion, 26% Intuition, 53% Thinking, 60% Judging

One word. Boring. Sums you up to a tee. You're responsible, trustworthy, serious and down to earth. Boring. Boring. Boring.

You play by the rules. You follow tradition. You encourage structure.

You insist that EVERYBODY do EVERYTHING by the book. Seriously, is there even an ounce of imagination in that little brain of yours? I mean, what's the point of imagination, right? It has no practical value...

As far as you're concerned, abstract theories can go screw themselves. You just want the facts, all the facts and nothing but the facts.

Oh. And you're a perfectionist. About everything. You know that the previous sentence was gramattically incorrect and that "gramattically" was spelt wrong. Your financial records are correct to 25 decimal places and your bedroom is in pristine condition. In fact, you even don't sleep on your bed anymore for fear that you might crease the sheets.

Thankfully, you don't have anyone else to share the bed with, because you're uncomfortable expressing affection and emotion to others. Too bad.

The thing is, I definitely agree about the boring part, but DUDE, I just WISH they could see my room! *rolls on the floor laughing* Where they get to the perfectionist part, they're so hilariously wrong, they have no idea.

They're right about abstract theories and facts, though.

This little gem can be found right here: The Brutally Honest Personality Test

Oh well well well...

2006-12-09T20:28:28Z

No news, which is probably good, considering the kind of year this is. So, instead I'll just do that calendar meme, where you take the first line of the first entry in each of the months. Here we go.

-------------
January

Went out with my family today. Something I haven't done in a looong, loooong while.

February

1. Work sucks.

March

Because I have time to. I'm done with my hardest day in the week, Wednesday, I'm alive and I have some time, yay!

April

I'm not being around an awful lot, am I now?..

May

Here we go again. This Friday Donna D'Errico Sixx filed for divorce.

June

... and complicated...

July

The four words: MY BROTHER IS HOME!!!!!!!

August

My cat just died. He spent this whole day aching and died. He won't ever ache again.

September

I've always wanted to do 20 Questions for the Sludge. LOL

October

I decided I don't like Kelly Gray.

November

It was a blast. For many reasons. Say, because I was totally prepared to have no Halloween at all - just to spend another lonely evening on my own

December

So, yesterday it turned kind of ugly, because I had a breakdown with no apparent reason.
----------------

That's it. That makes for 5 rather negative entries, 4 rather neutral entries and 3 definitely positive ones. Well, at least they aren't all negative, huh? :)

Because it needs be done.

2006-12-08T21:29:01Z

Because I spent my teenage years listening to his first band. Because when that fucker shot him, he fucking killed my childhood along with one of the most talented guitarists in rock. Because a thing like this shouldn't have ever happened.

Random stuff concerning slash.

2006-12-07T18:24:41Z

Just for the hell of it... guys, who really said this?

ALL ROCK'N'ROLL IS HOMOSEXUAL!

My favorite quote. I've always thought it was Richie from Manic Street Preachers. They even had this one on their T-shirts, as their official T-shirt slogan. But I've met at least two sources that list this one as Kurt Cobain's quote. Eh? Did he say THAT, too? What, were these guys channeling each other? Connected to the same section of the Noosphere or what?..

Anyway, two other quotes on the subject:

It's been around since Little Richard, basically. It's been on Manics' T-shirts since their first album - 'All rock'n'roll is homosexual' - and good rock'n'roll has always had a gay undercurrent to it. - Brian Molko, Placebo

Slash fiction ... is what you get for playing around with homoerotic imagery in pop music. - Paul Flynn, the journalist for The Observer

Here you have two male (and yes, I AM sure about Brian!), non-fic-writing human beings who basically say aloud what I've thought all this while: those guys with their biiiig guitars, biiiig mikes and snuggly photo sessions, they had it coming. :D

--------

One of the four Russian fantasy writers that are subscribed to my Russian blog (as well as I'm subscribed to theirs) keeps asking people to write slash fics for her books recently. LOL Putting it like this: "Dammit. I wanna have a FANDOM!"

I wonder if any band has ever asked to be slashed... LOL